Wednesday, 9 December 2015

The Naked Truth

Conversation at dinner table tonight:

13 year old tells a story about how a kid in Grade 6 has been banned from local variety store for trying to buy a Playboy. We all start laughing, except the 8 year old demands to know what a Playboy is.

13 year old looking shifty and pink, refuses to answer. 10 year old sniggering.

My wife explains that it is a magazine full of naked women.

He doubles over laughing, "Who would want to look at a magazine like that?"

My wife, carefully not looking at me, answers, "Exactly."

I interject, "Some men are very interested in looking at naked women."

8 year old in disbelief, "That's just dumb."

I reply, "There may come a day when you become one of those men."

He looks at me. "Do you like looking at naked women?"


"Very much."

Chorus of yucks etc.

My wife, "Daddy is a gross pig."

I defend myself, "What? I like looking at you naked."

She blushes.

My boys yell out, "Stop! Enough! Yuck!"

I ask them, "Where do you think the three of you come from?"

At that point I am physically attacked by my three sons, laughing, outraged, embarrassed.