Christmas Wish List

My six year old's Christmas Wish List.

 If Santa brings all this stuff I can expect to be mercilessly attacked with snow and candy from an invisible opponent.

POP CULTURE: A ROYAL PAIN

Pop Culture provides various takes on being a Modern Dad, inspired by pop culture references from movies, books, comics and TV shows.

When  I first saw the movie “The Royal Tenenbaums” I was disappointed. But I LOVED the ne’er-do-well patriarch Royal Tenenbaum. When his 11-year old daughter Margot put on a play which she wrote Royal said, “I didn’t find it believable,” and, “What characters? This is a bunch of little kids dressed up in animal costumes.” After Margot excused herself he said, “Well, sweetie, don't be mad at me. That's just one man's opinion.”

I laughed so hard at moments like these – he is brutal but hilarious. He doesn’t do what Dads are SUPPOSED to do. When I re-watched the movie recently two things were different – I liked the movie more than I remembered and I didn’t find Royal’s shenanigans nearly so funny. The main difference? I’m a Dad now.

Twenty years after this episode, Royal claims he is dying in order to worm his way back into his estranged wife’s home and heart. Royal is still an unredeemed jerk – selfish, dishonest and reckless with other people’s feelings - but something happens – he bonds with his grandsons, whom are under the thumb of their own overprotective father (Royal’s alienated son).

Royal takes them on wild adventures: crossing against the light, go-carting in the street, betting on dog fights, and sneaking rides on the back of garbage trucks. Eventually, his ruse is uncovered and, though he is in even greater disgrace, he ultimately realizes all he has lost out on by being an absent father. He is granted redemption when he rescues his grandsons from a car crash and so reconnects with his alienated son - to the point that they are together when Royal dies of a heart-attack later that same year.

So, what’s the moral? It’s never too late to try and get better as a father. You don’t have to become someone you’re not – just a better version of yourself. This is summed up by what Royal requests on his tombstone:  “Royal O’Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001) Died Tragically Rescuing His Family From The Remains Of A Destroyed Sinking Battleship”. Of course, the real rescue was of Royal by his family.

Christopher Sweeney is a chauffeur, short order cook, quartermaster, frontline medic and a laundryman – i.e. a Modern Dad. He is also a lawyer, University lecturer and writes award-winning graphic novels, screenplays, online games and other transmedia projects. Check out more Pop Culture pieces on his blog: popculture-superdad.blogspot.com. You can also follow his ravings on Twitter @SweeneyWriter.

 

A version of this article appears in the recurring column Pop Culture in Village Living Magazine: West Village and Village Living: Mount Pleasant.