13 year old tells a story about how a kid in Grade 6 has been banned from local variety store for trying to buy a Playboy. We all start laughing, except the 8 year old demands to know what a Playboy is.
13 year old looking shifty and pink, refuses to answer. 10 year old sniggering.
My wife explains that it is a magazine full of naked women.
He doubles over laughing, "Who would want to look at a magazine like that?"
My wife, carefully not looking at me, answers, "Exactly."
I interject, "Some men are very interested in looking at naked women."
8 year old in disbelief, "That's just dumb."
I reply, "There may come a day when you become one of those men."
He looks at me. "Do you like looking at naked women?"
Beat.
"Very much."
Chorus of yucks etc.
My wife, "Daddy is a gross pig."
I defend myself, "What? I like looking at you naked."
She blushes.
My boys yell out, "Stop! Enough! Yuck!"
I ask them, "Where do you think the three of you come from?"
At that point I am physically attacked by my three sons, laughing, outraged, embarrassed.